#ThankYouLaun #ONFForever
August 23, 2019 past 6pm KST. A notification from the fancafe came which said Laun is leaving ONF and WM Entertainment due to personal reasons effective immediately. There was a lot of confusion and questions. People were demanding WM Entertainment to upload another official statement, this time with a more specific reason as to why Laun decided to leave. A few hours later, OFF team leader J-US stepped up and posted a letter implying that they just also knew about Laun's departure and are just as surprised as we are. ON team leader Hyojin's letter followed after past midnight to say that despite the news, ONF will continue to stay by everyone's side and that they are working hard to not worry a lot of people.
Just like other fans, my initial reaction was 'What?' followed by 'Why?' The term personal reason is so vague it can mean anything, and my anxious mind thought of several ridiculous reasons that it made me feel extremely worried. Just what kind of reason is that bad that Laun had to request for an immediate leave and for WM to agree to terminate his contract just like that. I tried to become rational while having all these hundred feelings at once. This is an event I never expected to happen as an ONF fan, at least not this early.
When I thought of how Laun and ONF must be feeling, my own feelings start to numb. Laun — the young kid who was enrolled to a dance academy by his father because he really loved dancing, took an audition and got accepted into an agency, moved to one agency after another while having part-time jobs, accepted into WM and finally debuted as a singer — is giving up his dream for a personal reason we cannot know. ONF — the group with constant long period of hiatus who is finally preparing for a huge scale comeback project — had just been advised that their beloved youngest member decided to leave and just knew about it. Both parties are hurt by this event and my priority became their feelings, not mine. The leaders already expressed that they are also saddened and hurt by this incident. On the other hand, we have not heard anything from Laun himself. I, too, earnestly wished for a last letter - not for an explanation but for an assurance that he is / he will be okay.
Laun is a silent kid who did not like bothering others. When his hyungs are talking, he would not dare interrupt them and will only talk if he's given the floor. He would also silently do all the chores by himself when they are holding lives or mukbangs. He followed the words of his hyungs well. He is also very honest about his feelings, how he thought U joining their team would affect how his hyungs treat him as a maknae but it turns out he found the best friend he never had with U (he was very busy training so he did not have the the opportunity to make friends at school). He is very proud with the things he love, whether they are big or trivial things. He is young but he is also very matured.
To think Laun is suffering from something undisclosable is truly heartbreaking. Of all people, why does it have to happen to our kind and earnest Laun. 20 days after his second debut anniversary, 11 days after his 21st birthday, and 4 days from his last Twitter post, he bidded goodbye to ONF and his celebrity life. Though he is a celebrity — one that we all truly love — I don't believe he owes us a specific reason. Him leaving everything he built since he was a child is solid proof for me that his circumstance is bigger than what we can imagine. I can only pray that whatever his circumstance is, he will get through it and will get better in the future. I hope that the two years he was promoting as a celebrity had been happy years, and that he didn't leave any regrets so he can continue living the rest of his life the way he wants to.
With this, I am bidding goodbye to Laun. This letter does not mean I won't be sad anymore because that is impossible. My eyes get wet when I think of him even for a slightest moment. I am sad but I have to respect his decision of not wanting to be a celebrity anymore. I have to be stronger because there are 6 other ONF members who share the same dream and who need our support more than ever. We have to make them feel that they lost a leg but that doesn't make them lacking. They are preparing for their comeback with hearts ten times heavier than us so the least we can do is to continue cheering them on and be by their sides.
Fuse, let's become stronger so that ONF can depend on us. It doesn't have to be immediately. Some are taking their time off to let all of this fully sink in. My cc is always open for any messages or questions, if you are afraid to lean on an irl friend, you can lean on me. Let's help each other go through this together.
Love,
ai (@hyojetion)